Parallel Parenting vs. Co-Parenting: The Newest TikTok Parenting Term
TikTok has become a central hub for parenting conversations. Many have heard of socialized terms such as gentle parenting style. In recent days,a wave of parents have taken to the platform to express growing frustration with co-parenting. Parents are now rejecting the traditional model entirely in favor of something more boundary-driven: parallel parenting.
What is Parallel Parenting?
Parallel parenting is a structured parenting style designed for situations where communication between ex-partners is high-conflict or harmful. It removes the expectation of constant collaboration and instead emphasizes minimal contact. In practice, that means no texting, no phone calls, and avoiding unnecessary meet-ups.
This model is gaining attention from individuals who have experienced emotional abuse, manipulation, or narcissistic behavior in their former relationships. For them, the emotional cost of staying in close contact with an ex-partner outweighs the supposed benefits of traditional co-parenting.
Parallel parenting creates space. Each parent makes decisions independently during their parenting time, with limited or no interference from the other. Scheduling is typically handled through third-party apps or court-approved tools, and in-person exchanges are minimized or arranged in neutral settings.
According to family law attorney Renee Bauer, parallel parenting is often used in high-conflict cases where traditional co-parenting fails due to poor communication. “They are running alongside each other but never cross into each other's lane,” she explains, noting that while it limits collaboration, it also minimizes conflict exposure for children.
The TikTok Discussion
Much of the term’s current visibility can be traced to TikTok, where users have started openly sharing their experiences. One example comes from the account @amicabledivorcenetwork, which focuses on conflict resolution and divorce education.
In the video, the creator outlines how many parents are walking away from the pressure to maintain a cooperative relationship with an ex-partner who was emotionally or psychologically damaged. The comments section is filled with responses from parents who feel seen for the first time, many saying they thought they were failing for not being able to co-parent peacefully, when in fact they were protecting themselves and their children from unnecessary harm.
The biggest takeaway from those who partake in this style of parenting is setting strong boundaries to avoid and escalate conflict with a partner who isn’t emotionally stable enough to conduct a traditional and contractual co-parenting relationship.
A Parallel Parenting Plan
Co-parenting is ideal for separated partners. It's the version celebrated in family court, therapy sessions, and countless parenting blogs. But that vision doesn’t always match reality, especially when the relationship between parents is toxic, or when communication becomes a source of anxiety and stress. Each situation is unique and many families have complex dynamics that traditional methods can’t treat.
Parallel parenting acknowledges the truth that some people can’t or shouldn’t be in regular contact after separating. For many, trying to co-parent with someone who refuses to respect boundaries or engage in good faith only adds to the trauma.
This shift reflects a broader trend: more parents are choosing mental health, peace, and personal boundaries over maintaining appearances. The stigma around ending communication with a co-parent is starting to fall away.
In high-conflict custody cases, some parents adopt a parallel parenting approach to limit communication and reduce conflict. Digital tools like the Parent Copilot app are now being used to support this structure by offering features such as independent scheduling, AI-filtered messaging, and agreement-based reminders. As divorce attorney and app creator Renee Bauer explains, “They are running alongside each other but never cross into each other's lane,” reflecting the app’s aim to help parents operate separately while maintaining structure for the child.
Who Is Parallel Parenting For?
Parallel parenting is often recommended in situations involving:
Narcissistic or high-conflict individuals
Emotional abuse or manipulation
Constant fighting or failed co-parenting attempts
Court-mandated boundaries after custody disputes
It’s not about alienating the other parent or disengaging from your child’s life. It’s about creating a functional structure where both parents can show up for their child without hurting each other—or the child, in the process.