Guidance for Grieving Families After Stillbirth
In collaboration with our grief and general parenting coach Laura Huene, BSN, RN, CPLC
Stillbirth is a loss few speak openly about but many experience. It brings an overwhelming wave of grief, confusion, and emotional disconnection, often without the kind of structured support that follows other types of loss.
Laura Huene, a parent coach and nurse, offered her insight in assisting both herself and other families through some of the most difficult moments of their lives. After carrying to term a fatal diagnosis, she dedicates herself to rebuilding the confidence and introspective insights to heal from grief and traumas that can be induced through the parenting journey.
Healing After a Pregnancy Loss
Stillbirth is more than a medical outcome. It's the loss of a child, the disruption of a future, and for many, the sudden collapse of a long-held identity as a parent. This somewhat common but taboo topic can lead to a mother’s grief being overlooked. According to the World Health Organization, nearly 2 million babies are stillborn each year, with many parents receiving little to no emotional follow-up care (WHO, 2021). When the baby doesn’t make a live birth, it can make others outside of your experience insensitive to the emotions you are currently facing.
That being said, it is crucial to recognize that not all healing journeys look the same. There is an incredible amount of nuance that comes with the dynamics of your life and it's ok if others don’t share the exact same timeline.
Common emotional experiences include:
A deep sense of isolation
Disenfranchised grief (“It’s like people forgot it happened.”)
Guilt or self-blame
Difficulty reconnecting with identity and routine
A longing to honor the baby’s memory
5 Ways to Support Yourself After a Stillbirth
Grief isn’t linear and there's no “right” way to feel after losing a baby. But there are tools and approaches that can help you find grounding, even in heartbreak.
1. Allow Yourself to Grieve Without a Timeline
Crying daily, swinging through your emotions, and feeling numb are all natural reactions. Your body and mind are processing more than just loss: they’re recovering from the shock of expectations abruptly ending.
“Grief has no schedule. It deserves space, not shame.” – Laura Huene, Grief & Parenting Coach
2. Honor the Baby in a Way That Feels Right
Validating your experiences can also be cathartic and positively impactful.Creating meaning after stillbirth may include:
Choosing a name
Writing a letter to the baby
Creating a memory box or photo collection
Lighting a candle or celebrating milestones
These acts don’t have to be big. These simple acknowledgements also serve as a way to change the way you remember them by creating a better experience.
3. Seek Support from People Who Understand
Friends and family may struggle with what to say, but you're not alone. Support from those who understand this specific loss can be life-changing.
Consider connecting with:
Grief-informed parent coaches
Support groups for pregnancy and infant loss
Licensed therapists who specialize in perinatal trauma
“Healing often starts when we stop expecting ourselves to be okay too quickly.” – Laura Huene
4. Regulate, Don’t Suppress, Your Emotions
Your nervous system is processing both physical and emotional trauma. Activities like breathwork, gentle walks, journaling, or simply speaking with someone can offer release and regulation.
Grief doesn’t need to be hidden or “managed.” It needs to be felt, and witnessed.
5. Understand That Joy Can Return Alongside Grief
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means learning to carry grief differently.
You may one day:
Laugh again
Find meaning in small routines
Feel connected to your identity as a parent
Hold joy and sadness at the same time
“Living well after loss is not betrayal. It’s resilience.” – Laura Huene
What Not to Say (or Expect) from Others
If you’re supporting someone who’s experienced stillbirth, avoid minimizing language like:
“At least it happened early.”
“You can always try again.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”
Instead, try:
“I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”
“I’m here to listen—anytime.”
“Would it help to talk about your baby?”
Remember, most individuals aren’t certified in handling others emotions, when seeking advice always speak to an expert who can understand and handle with sensitivity in mind.
Personalized Support from Laura Huene
Laura is a grief-informed parent coach with over 30 years in maternal care. She supports women and families navigating life after loss, guiding them through identity, emotion, and next steps with empathy and depth.
Moving Forward
Stillbirth changes you. The first step is acceptance and consequently accepting the versions of you that change and strengthen after a difficult lived experience. In moments like these it can be difficult to see past the horizon and embrace a community of women like yourself who are willing to support you as a community.