Accepting That Your Little One Is Growing Up: Tips for School Drop Offs

It’s the morning of your child’s daycare drop-off, and your little one is screaming with fussy outbreaks. The mom's guilt can feel overbearing, and you might wonder if you are doing something wrong.

As Rhonda Tkachuk, an early childhood specialist with a Diploma in Early Childhood, a Degree in Community Rehabilitation, and a Master’s in Early Learning/Education, explains, “It’s not only just a transition for the child, it’s a transition for the parent.” She adds that children often regulate faster than we expect, sometimes settling “before you even leave the parking lot.”

Another important point is that “tantrums are a form of communication, not bad behavior,” especially during moments of change. When routines shift, toddlers don’t yet have the words to explain fear, confusion, or frustration, so those feelings show up physically through crying, clinging, or resistance.

You can reduce anxiety at daycare drop-off by choosing a trustworthy daycare or early learning center. Whether it’s a daycare, day home, head start program, or general school drop-off, it’s important to consider that it’s not just a place where your child is watched over. It should be a place where they feel comfortable and can grow academically, socially, and emotionally.

According to Rhonda, due diligence markers include consistent caregivers, low staff turnover, proper licensing, and open communication with parents. These factors create stability, helping children learn trust and settle more easily, which directly affects how they respond during drop-offs and reunions.

Why Do Kids Cry When Dropped Off at School?

Unfamiliarity is a major reason toddlers cry. These are the ages when children begin the socialization process, so any peers outside of their usual circle may trigger anxiety. With repeated exposure, this triggered feeling usually decreases quickly. As a parent you have to trust the process.

When walking away from drop-off and your child is still crying, part of what helps them settle is who they’re left with and how familiar that person is. As Rhonda Tkachuck, a parent coach with decades of experience, says, “The consistency of having the same caregiver in a day home was huge for me, knowing that that caregiver is going to be with them from the minute they’re dropped off to when they get picked up.”

These moments are building blocks for your child’s emotional independence. For toddlers learning to process their emotions, these outbreaks are completely normal. Emotional regulation comes from learning how to move through these feelings when they occur.

According to Rhonda, every child develops differently based on their environment. Developmental milestones are guidelines rather than strict rules. Tantrums and emotional reactions often appear during transitions, especially when something is new or unfamiliar.

How to Support Your Child’s Emotional Growth

What helps most is not forcing independence, but allowing it to unfold gradually. Predictable routines, open communication between caregivers and parents, and small steps toward separation all support emotional growth. Independence isn’t built in a single day. It forms over time, through repeated experiences of safety, separation, and return.

Accepting that your little one is growing up means accepting that growth can look uncomfortable. Sometimes it looks like tears at drop-off followed by curiosity, play, and connection shortly after. While it can be hard to witness, these moments are signs that your child is learning how to exist in the world with confidence, knowing you will always come back.