How to Become a Foster Parent: The First Steps
Becoming a foster parent comes with both tangible and emotional prerequisites. Beginning the process of adopting a child from foster care can be confusing but there are resources available to guide you the whole way through.
Most Common Prerequisites to Adopting or Fostering a Child
Before you can open your home to a child in foster care, there are certain prerequisites many agencies require. Typically, you'd need to:
Go through a home study, where a local social worker evaluates your living environment, background, financial stability, and motivations for becoming a foster parent.
Complete training, often trauma-informed, preparing you for challenges like behavioral issues, attachment disorders, or complex trauma.
Pass background checks, including criminal history and child abuse registries.
Be at least 21 years old (age requirements vary by state or country).
Demonstrate that you can provide for a child’s physical, emotional, and developmental needs.
Not all foster care processes are the same and the variation is great by location but these are some general expectations.
The Foster Care Process: What to Expect
Once you’re ready and approved, here’s a rough roadmap for how the foster care process typically works:
Application & training: Apply through your local child welfare or foster-care agency. Attend training sessions, often focused on trauma-informed care.
Home study & assessment: A social worker will interview you, inspect your home, evaluate finances, and check background.
Matching: After approval, you may be matched with a child or multiple children based on your preferences, space, and the child’s needs.
Placement: A child is placed in your home, sometimes for a short-term stay, or potentially as a long-term placement with adoption as a goal.
Ongoing support & reviews: You’ll receive support from the agency, have regular check-ins, and possibly complete re-certification every few years.
Why Consider Becoming a Foster Parent?
Can I be a foster care parent? Common prerequisites to become a foster parent include a stable income, comprehensive questionnaires, and psychological assessments.
How to become a foster parent:The first step in becoming a foster parent should be to contact a specialized social worker and complete designated assessments.
What makes a great foster parent: Patience, emotional resilience, flexibility, and willingness to learn trauma-informed practices.
Which Foster Kids Get Adopted More Often?
The landscape for adoption can be heavily skewed depending on the child’s age range. Current data shows the following:
As of 2023, there were 527,180 children who passed through the U.S. foster care system, and by September 30 of that year, about 343,077 children remained in care. USAFacts
The average age of a child in foster care is around 8 years old, according to policy research. The Policy Circle
In 2023, 32% of children in care were ages 1 to 5, and 7% were infants. The Annie E. Casey Foundation
Agency data from 2024 shows only about 7% of children in care are under one year old, while 30% are aged 1–5, 21% are 6–10, and 28% are 11–16. Christian Alliance for Orphans
Parents often hesitate to take in older foster children because of long-standing prejudices, fears about behavioral challenges, or personal preferences for younger kids. As a result, teens and pre-teens are disproportionately left behind in the system, cycling through multiple placements and experiencing even greater instability. But with the right support and trauma-informed guidance, older foster youth can absolutely thrive. As Jaime Halan-Harris explains in a MissPoppins article on rehabilitating older foster kids, older children are not “too difficult” or “too damaged”they’re simply survivors who need consistency and trust. In her work, she shows how trust-based relational care can heal trauma and help these children rebuild stability and connection (MissPoppins, “Rehabilitating Older Foster Kids”).
The Type of Children Less Likely to Be Adopted
Other barriers for children in foster care exist so they aren’t all equally likely to find a permanent adoptive family, and understanding this helps prospective foster parents make informed decisions.
Older youth (teens): Adolescents often face more barriers. The longer a child is in care, the more placements they tend to experience, making adoption less likely. fosterva.org
Sibling groups: Large sibling groups are harder to place because not all families have the capacity or resources to take on multiple children.
Children with behavioral or emotional trauma: Kids who have experienced multiple placements, abuse, neglect, or who have complex trauma may struggle with trust and stability.
Children with special needs: This can include physical disabilities, developmental delays, or behavioral health challenges.
These groups often remain in care longer, underscoring the importance of trauma-informed foster parents who are prepared for long-term support.
The Process of Healing After Foster Care
There are specialists whose work is critical in rehabilitating children who have experienced the unforgiving foster care process. These professionals focus on rebuilding trust, addressing trauma, and helping children develop life skills.
Common areas affected include:
Attachment and relational trauma: Many children in foster care struggle with forming healthy attachments due to repeated instability.
Behavioral issues: Acting out, aggression, or withdrawal often stem from trauma, not disobedience.
Mental health: Anxiety, depression, complex PTSD are common among foster youth.
That’s where trauma-informed care and evidence-based approaches come in—techniques like Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI®) help foster parents meet children where they are emotionally, and gradually build a foundation of trust.
Connect with Foster Care Behavioral Specialists
One of the best resources for insight into the challenges and rewards of foster parenting is Jaime (Jamie) Halan-Harris, a trauma-informed family and parenting coach who has spent over 30 years working with children in foster care.
Her background includes:
Running a therapeutic home for youth who have experienced repeated displacement, abuse, neglect, and behavioral challenges.
Using TBRI® (Trust-Based Relational Intervention) to help kids rebuild trust and heal relational wounds.
Specializing in complex trauma (C-PTSD), behavior rehabilitation, and trauma-informed co-regulation and conscious parenting. Podtail
On the MissPoppins: The Art of Parenting podcast, she shares powerful stories of what trust can look like for a child who’s had multiple placements in a single week, and why she believes no child is “too broken to heal.”
Aside from behavioral issues, Jaime is an exceptional resource for those looking for guidance on starting their foster care journey, because she walks the walk: she’s cared for deeply wounded youth, used evidence-based relational methods, and advocated for healing and permanence.
Becoming a foster parent is about:
Understanding attachment wounds and how they shape behavior
Using relational interventions (like TBRI®) to help kids feel safe, seen, and worthy
Providing stability over time, even when progress is slow
Partnering with therapists, caseworkers, schools, and other support systems
Specialized tactics for relationship building are key for changes. If you have more questions on the process of adoption or foster care, feel free to contact any certified life transition experts on the MissPoppins platform.
