Can Foster Kids Really Change? Real Rehabilitation Case Studies
Families Do Hesitate to Adopt Older Kids
When prospective parents explore foster care adoption, one of the most common concerns is: Is it risky to adopt an older child from foster care? Many worry about trauma, attachment issues, or long-term behavioral struggles. The reality is that most children in foster care(especially older) have experienced instability, neglect, or abuse.
In 2023, there were over 368,000 children living in foster care in the United States, and more than 108,000 of them were eligible for adoption (Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute, 2023). Yet, children ages 9 and older—nearly 28% of those adopted in 2022—are often the hardest to place, precisely because families worry about trauma (Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute, 2023).
Trauma and Older Foster Youth: What It Really Means
Older foster youth are more likely to have lived through multiple placements and complex trauma, which may show up as:
Difficulty trusting adults
Aggression or withdrawal
Food hoarding or other “survival” behaviors
Struggles with boundaries and emotional regulation
These behaviors understandably make some prospective parents fearful that adopting an older child could be “too risky.” But trauma does not mean a child cannot heal.
Case Study: From “Unadoptable” to Thriving Adult
Jaime, a therapeutic foster parent, recalls when she welcomed a five-year-old boy who had already been through five homes in one week. Upon arrival, he tested her with aggression, holding a two-by-four behind her while she gardened. Instead of reacting with fear, Jaime calmly redirected him, offering space and trust.
That moment was the start of a long relationship. He stayed with her until 18, eventually thriving as a chef and father. His story illustrates that with consistency, trauma-informed parenting, and safety, foster kids can and do change.
Can People Really Change After Complex Trauma?
Skeptics often say, “People don’t change.” Jaime disagrees:
“I absolutely feel that they can change with the right support. Once you build trust and work together to repair those broken pieces, you give them hope—and they heal.”
Research supports this. A study in Child Abuse & Neglect found that foster youth with early trauma showed significant improvement in attachment and emotional regulation when given stability and therapeutic interventions (Dozier et al., 2018).
The Risk and the Reward
It’s true: adopting an older child from foster care is not without challenges. Trauma can complicate attachment, and families must prepare for setbacks. But it is inaccurate—and harmful—to label older foster youth as “unfixable.”
In fact, teens and older children are the least likely to be adopted yet the most in need of permanent families. In FY 2023, more than 36,000 children remained in foster care even though they were legally free for adoption (National Council for Adoption, 2024). Without permanent placement, many age out without ever experiencing stability.
What Prospective Parents Should Know
If you’re weighing adoption from foster care, especially of an older child, here are three key takeaways:
Trauma is real, but healing is possible. With patience and therapeutic support, children can and do thrive.
Parenting models make a difference. Trauma-informed approaches like Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI) emphasize connection before correction.
Older kids are waiting. They need families most, and when given stability, many go on to build healthy, fulfilling lives.
Jaime’s experience in rehabilitating children from foster care is extensive. Some of her stories are as told on MissPoppins Art of Parenting Podcast. With more than four decades of hands-on experience in therapeutic foster care, counseling, and nursing, Jaime has raised and rehabilitated dozens of children with PTSD, autism spectrum disorder, and complex trauma. She is trained in Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI) and child-honoring principles, and she ran a therapeutic children’s home where she supported over 30 children through some of the most difficult life circumstances. Her career stands as proof that children from foster care are not defined by their trauma and can indeed