Toddler Feeding Guidelines
Feeding Philosophy
Before diving into nutrition, meal planning, and food likes and dislikes, consider establishing a general philosophy to guide you and those who take care of your child. Think of it as a mission statement. The decisions you make about feeding your child should all be in service of your family’s mission statement.
Here are some insights from our experts to help you develop your family’s approach to food and mealtime:
Know Your Role. You provide the time, place, and menu for meals. Once the meal is served, your child decides which foods to eat and how much. You can choose non-negotiable perimeters for mealtimes (handwashing, inside voices, etc.), menu items, and basic expectations (sit comfortably in your chair, play quietly if finished early). Your role is not to count your child’s bites of food aloud and praise them for eating more. Offer what you have prepared to the whole family, including your toddler. Modify portion size for toddlers and make food modifications as needed for safety. Join your toddler for meals whenever possible and be present.
Self-feeding. Self-feeding must be prioritized. As much as possible, avoid spoon-feeding and putting food in their mouth. Prioritizing your child’s independence will have positive long-term effects. Continue to support your toddler in learning to eat independently; this can eventually lead to learning to prepare food independently and also grow or shop for food.
Shame-Free meals. Shame related to food often begins early and grows from numerous tiny seeds planted in a child each time a parent or family member requires “one more bite” or mentions weight concerns to the doctor right in front of the child or punishes a child for mealtime behavior—actions that often come from well-intended parents. Focus on planting positive seeds that help your child to grow more confident and decisive about their own needs. When you trust your child to decide what and how much to eat, you plant positive seeds.
A few more ideas for cultivating healthy relationships with food:
Grow food in a garden with your toddler
Talk about your favorite stories during dinner
“Cook” together with pretend food during playtime
Find age-appropriate duties your toddler can help within the kitchen.
Zen. What does it mean to be “zen” at mealtimes? In this case, it means you are calm yet a confident expert in all things that relate to family mealtime. Help your toddler enjoy food and mealtime by having a positive attitude and modeling positivity when it comes to mealtimes. Approach meals and feeding your child with a calm, confident, and positive attitude. Avoid creating negative associations with meals and food by showing anger or disappointment when your child resists eating or dislikes a new food.
Food is fuel. Food should never be leveraged as a punishment nor should it be used as a reward. Give your child security knowing that food will be provided no matter how they behave, it does not need to be earned. Once you have provided the meal, allow your child to decide what to eat and how much, without shame or punishments.
You provide, your child decides. Avoid forcing your toddler to take “one more bite” or try a bite of each item served. We realize this was how many of us were raised, however, newer research and a better understanding of eating behaviors and disorders have shown that weaponizing food or creating stigmas around eating are toxic practices. Research also shows the incredible benefits of families eating together on a regular basis. This is what we want for your and your family.
Share Your Feeding Plans. Once you’ve had time to consider your goals for mealtimes and feeding your child, make sure all caregivers are aware of your plan. Express the importance of consistency when it comes to feeding your toddler.
