The Differences Between Miscarriage, Abortion, and Stillbirth

October- Infant Loss Awareness Month

When it comes to pregnancy loss, language matters. Many parents are surprised to discover that miscarriage, abortion, and stillbirth are each defined differently and can create confusion, silence, and stigma. Jennifer McCrae, a certified death doula, thanatologist, and grief specialist, helps families navigate these distinctions and find healing, no matter what type of loss they’ve experienced.

Medical Definitions and Emotional Realities

One of the most misunderstood aspects of reproductive loss is how it’s classified.

• Miscarriage: Often defined as a pregnancy loss before 20 weeks, and technically termed a spontaneous abortion.
  
  

• Abortion: The intentional termination of a pregnancy for personal or medical reasons.
  
  

• Stillbirth: The loss of a baby at or after 20 weeks of gestation.
  
  

“Miscarriage is technically a ‘spontaneous abortion,’” McCrae explained. “Anything from zero to 20 weeks would fall under that. Anything after that would then be classified as a stillborn.”

While these distinctions are clinical, they deeply affect how families experience and process loss. Legal and medical systems respond differently depending on these definitions — but emotionally, all forms of loss carry weight.

Why Language Matters in Pregnancy Loss

Using the right terminology can feel like a small detail, but it carries significant emotional weight.

“The grieving process, no matter what the circumstances, there’s always going to be a grieving process. There’s a loss. And I think it should be recognized that they need to have both medical and emotional support, whatever type of loss it was — whether an abortion or a stillborn or a miscarriage.”

McCrae also addresses how stigma often emerges from language itself. Many parents are shocked to learn that a miscarriage is medically called a “spontaneous abortion,” which can feel alienating or painful during an already vulnerable time. Similarly, those who experience abortion — whether elective or medically necessary — may face shame layered on top of their grief, while families who experience stillbirth may face logistical, financial, and emotional burdens all at once.

Her work emphasizes that every type of pregnancy loss deserves acknowledgement, compassion, and support, regardless of terminology.

Why Community Matters after the Death of a Loved One

Jennifer McCrae is a certified death doula and grief specialist who supports individuals and families through pregnancy and infant loss, end-of-life transitions, and grief integration. Through her practice at MissPoppins, she offers families emotional support space rooted in ritual, ceremony, and compassionate presence.

Her work focuses on helping families create their own rituals of remembrance, process grief in their own time, and find community. In a growing individualistic society, is it important to commune over our shared human experiences.

“I know within my community where I am, there is a center for pregnancy, and they do host it quarterly throughout the year, but they do host an infant and pregnancy loss support.”

Supporting Families Through All Types of Loss

Whether a family experiences miscarriage, abortion, stillbirth, or an embryo-related legal dispute, grief is valid and emotional care matters. McCrae’s work underscores the need for language that honors each family’s experience, supportive grief spaces, and clear legal protections where applicable.

Parents seeking support after pregnancy loss can benefit from:

• Grief-informed counseling or doula care
  
  

• Community-based support groups
  
  

• Honest, stigma-free conversations with loved ones and care providers
  
  

• Personal rituals or ceremonies to honor their loss

Everything a Thanatologist Can Do for Parents Experiencing Loss

Jennifer also shared how at-home funerals can provide families with more time, intimacy, and personal connection during their grieving process. “Some (grief specialists) will help you to prepare, connect you with community partners such as lawyers, financial planners, estate planners, funeral directors, some like myself that will do all of that as well as create your deathbed for you as well. Then I also guide people through a home funeral if they so choose,” she explained. She emphasized that many families simply don’t realize this is an option. “And not a lot of families know that you can have home funerals.” McCrae went on to clarify how the process can give families space to grieve more naturally: “But at home funerals, the body can stay at home for at least after a couple of days if prepared properly and cooled properly. And that really allows the family that grieving time as opposed to just as soon as they die or are taken away.” She also noted that regulations around home funerals vary by state or province, and families should check their local guidelines before making arrangements.

The role of a grief specialist is multifaceted and highly recommended for parents and individuals experiencing bereavement.