Grieving a Partner Loss During Pregnancy

Partner loss is an emotionally tumultuous experience that can throw parents off of their initial footing. Whether it’s a breakup, a sudden death, or emotional distance that slowly turns permanent, the absence of a partner shifts your entire reality. The person who once helped carry the load is gone. There are bottles to warm, forms to fill, errands to run, and emotions to regulate. A study by the American Psychological Association (2022) found that almost 70 percent of people who lose a partner never receive support after the loss. Most are left to figure it out alone while life continues demanding answers.

Pregnant and Grieving

Pregnancy adds another layer to all of this. Your body is already under pressure, your hormones are shifting, and now grief is crashing through your system with nowhere to go. The baby is still coming. The bills are still coming. But the person who was supposed to be here with you isn’t. You might be carrying someone new while mourning someone who is gone. That duality is hard to describe.

Research on maternal mental health confirms what many already feel intuitively. Grieving during pregnancy significantly increases the likelihood of postpartum depression and difficulties bonding with the baby (Robinson & Valentine, 2021). Mourning as a mother is something you don’t prepare for, 

The Three C’s of Grief

When the world stops making sense, it helps to have something to hold on to. That’s where some of our Three C’s of Grief come in: clarity, compassion, and connection.

Clarity refers to taking a step back to see the situation from a different perspective. During the height of emotions, perspectives can get blurry and solutions can be hard to decipher.

Compassion is what follows when you stop judging yourself for the events you can control and focus on what you can. 

Connection might be the hardest but most healing piece. Grief convinces you that no one will understand, so you shrink into silence. But that silence gets heavy. When you open up to even one person, it lifts a little. That’s what connection does. It doesn’t erase the pain, but it shares the weight of it.

Avoid the Stump

A parent coach who understands grief isn’t just someone who gives tips about routines and snack prep. They’re someone who can sit with your sadness and help you feel less alone in it. They’ve walked with people through this kind of pain before. They know that healing doesn’t look the same for everyone, and they’re not here to rush your process.

The importance of these coaching sessions also come from their ability to help beyond emotional dysregulation. Your designated parent coach has guided you and many other parents for answers to some of the most overwhelming parenting concerns. When suffering from grief, it can be hard to have proper executive function, having a parent coach who keeps you accountable is key to seeing and feeling progress.

Avoid Prolonged Grief

A parent coach is the first line of defense against prolonged grief. Parenting through partner loss is not something you were ever meant to do alone. Whether you seek support through a coach, a friend, or a community space, the important thing is that you reach for something. A parent coach understands your new responsibilities and can guide you through your journey from grief, pregnancy, post natal, and childhood development. 

References

American Psychological Association. (2022). Grief and loss: Understanding the emotional impact of partner death and separation. https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/2022/report

Robinson, L., & Valentine, R. (2021). Perinatal loss and maternal mental health: Impacts and intervention strategies. Journal of Maternal Wellness, 18(3), 215–227. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jmwell.2021.03.007