93% of Communication is Nonverbal, Understand The Cues
Most people would assume that the bulk of expression is in the words that we speak, but it couldn’t be farther from the truth.
“I always ask parents to take a guess,” Cara Tyrrell, M.Ed says, an early childhood educator, parent educator, and speaker who holds degrees in Linguistics, American Sign Language, and Education.
“About 93% of communication is actually nonverbal.”
Even when children don’t use spoken language, they communicate powerfully through their bodies, expressions, eyes, and rhythms. Nonverbal children are so often misunderstood as we are trained to rely on verbal communication for interpretation.
The way in which nonverbal children communicate isn’t solely exclusive to some type of sign language; but it can also refer to certain inflections in their tone, gazes, and bodily reactions to stimuli.
What Nonverbal Communication Actually Looks Like
Here are the primary channels through which nonverbal children convey meaning:
Facial expressions — smiles, furrows, widening of eyes
Gestures — reaching, pointing, pushing away
Body tension — stiffening or relaxing in response to comfort or distress
Eye gaze — tracking objects or people, shared attention
Vocal tone — coos, rhythm, pitch even without words
Movement — approaching, withdrawing, pacing
With help from an early language development specialist, it is easier to understand your child’s expressive cues to build a relationship with them. You’ll notice over time that you understand what they mean when they do or act certain ways.
Nonverbal Children Still Communicate
Children who don’t use spoken words are far from silent. They rely on the very communication channels that research shows carry most of our meaning through facial expression, gesture, tone, and movement. Babble is just one example of a way that nonverbal kids practice their phonemes.
As Cara explains in Why Babble Sounds Different Across Languages:
“Only seven percent of our meaning-based comprehensive communication is what actually comes out of our mouth. The other ninety-three percent is nonverbal body language, facial expression, tone, and intonation.”
In the article, Cara further explained how babbling serves as a tool in speech development that serves as practice for real words by training their mouth and brain at the same time.
Nonverbal Children are Attune Communicators
Nonverbal children are not disconnected from the world, they are attuned to it, in ways that most may not understand at a first listen. For example, there was an observed case of a young child who would repeat the phrase “birthday” and cry whenever she felt anxious.
The association in her mind between getting sung a birthday song in front of a crowd and true feelings of anxiety are a deep but precise observation. Constant dismissal can increase frustration levels in neurodivergent children. Which is a reason they have more frequent meltdowns as opposed to neurotypical children.
Understanding Your Nonverbal Child
When adults equate communication with words alone, they overlook the full spectrum of expressive behavior. That can leave nonverbal children misunderstood and not because they aren’t communicating, but because the signals aren’t being read with attention and respect.
Instead of asking, “Why isn’t this child talking yet?” caregivers can ask:
What is this child showing us right now?
How can I respond in a way they understand?
Am I honoring their intent, not just the form of the signal?
For example:
A child turning away may be signaling overwhelm.
A child reaching toward something may be signaling interest or desire.
A change in eye gaze can signal attention or avoidance.
Communication Begins With Relationship
Communication isn’t only about words, it’s fundamentally about connection.
Nonverbal communication is deeply relational. Shared attention, synchronized movement, and emotional attunement are all part of how children express needs and form social connections long before and alongside speech.
As Cara’s work emphasizes, recognizing this fullness changes how we support all children, including those who don’t use spoken language regularly.
Nonverbal Children Need Support, Not Just Sympathy
If we define communication too narrowly, we miss what children are already doing through their body language, tones, and tension. Broadening your scope of understanding involves a level of studying and guided support.
A pediatric speech therapist like Cara helps her clients learn how to listen. Although you can’t guarantee that your child will begin to talk, you can work towards improving the quality of life.
