Help! How do I stop my toddler from throwing food?
It’s dinnertime and you sit your toddler in the high chair. You serve him dinner and he begins feeding himself with his spoon. You turn your back to wash some dishes when suddenly you hear SPLAT! You turn around to find your toddler with the spoon in his hand and his food on the floor. He is looking at the food with a curious look. What do you do? Will this become a common occurrence? Are mealtimes going to be a struggle?
Before you start panicking, let’s reference toddler development and the toddler brain. Remember, at this stage, toddlers are experimenting with the outside world. They are learning cause and effect. In addition, toddlers are still developing their impulse control. In other words, throwing food at this stage is completely normal and developmentally expected.
If your toddler begins throwing food at mealtime, he may be experimenting, he may be full or even bored! And if you have a visible reaction when he does it, he may like doing it to see you react that way! Your reaction may be a reinforcer to the behavior, so be aware of how you react and if you recognize that you are having a big reaction, take a step back and a moment to focus and breathe in order to stay calm- the best reaction in this scenario is no emotional reaction. A lot of times, toddlers behave in a certain way to call our attention. And if we give them attention when they engage in what we’ll call negative behaviors instead of positive or acceptable behaviors, we are unconsciously reinforcing the negative behaviors.
There are a number of things that you can try to avoid this scenario, and how to deal with it if it happens. You can try to serve him less food and make sure that he is actually hungry when you serve him. Try shortening meal times. You can practice and model appropriate eating habits during make believe play time. For example, role play feeding a stuffed animal or a doll and have it eat without throwing food. As much as possible, engage with your toddler when he is eating, noticing and mentioning how well he is putting food in his mouth where it belongs. If you eat as well, tell him how you are feeding yourself. Modeling, noticing, and praising our children’s behavior can be very helpful when it comes to having them follow appropriate behaviors. Lastly, you can try teaching him a sign that means “all done” to indicate that he’s done eating.
What if my toddler throws food? First, remain calm. Then you may say something like “remember, food stays on the table or it goes in our mouths” and if he continues throwing the food, you may say “Ok I can see you’re all done,” and remove the food from his tray and finish mealtime.
Remember, throwing food is a developmentally expected behavior and it usually is a stage. Be patient, try the suggestions above, and stay positive.
