Parenting Your Toddler
Getting Started with Toddler Behavior.
Caring for a toddler is a joyful experience, but the day-to-day events can leave parents feeling overwhelmed, guilty, or helpless. As parents, we are our child’s first and most important teachers. We are responsible not only for teaching our toddlers how to manage their feelings but also for helping them find internal motivation. We want our children to choose appropriate behavior and practice empathy because they have learned to value both and not to simply behave in order to avoid punishment. This part of parenting—cultivating internal motivation—is often challenging.
Because behavior and introducing discipline are such complex aspects of parenting, we have some general tips for you to get in the right mindset before your toddler’s next meltdown or challenging time period.
How to Get a Head Start
First, look inward. Self-reflection is a fantastic tool to help you make decisions about discipline and your “family values.” What went well in your own upbringing? And what would you rather leave back in 1995?
Remain Open-minded. Progress in child psychology and parenting research has been significant over the last 50 to 75 years. New data has moved us in a direction that will only benefit our children. Be optimistic yet still realistic about new ideas and methods. You might fail at many attempts to manage a meltdown or set boundaries but your openness to new ideas will help you find the structure and consistency that your toddler needs to grow socially and emotionally.
Manage your expectations. Toddlers have short attention spans, most can only sit for mere minutes at a time, and many won’t understand social concepts like “taking turns” and “sharing” until closer to age 4. Build your goals for your toddler around realistic perimeters. Avoid comparing your child to others and take a note from a hero at helping children.
“I don’t think anyone can grow unless he’s loved exactly as he is now, appreciated for what he is, rather than what he will be.” —Fred Rogers, Mr. Rogers Neighborhood(1968).
Practice empathy. Including empathy with yourself.
Balance short-term solutions and long-term goals for your toddler. As often as possible, when it comes to your toddler’s behavior and social-emotional development, choose the long game over a quick fix. However, we understand that sometimes we can’t extend ourselves beyond the meltdown we’re currently managing. Forgive yourself. When things are calm, make a plan for more support or more tools to use the next time you’re struggling.
Continue to Reflect. What went well today? Were you able to communicate with your toddler? One “revision” you would make? When were you most confident?
Build on Strengths. Parent self-awareness and self-acceptance are important when beginning to work on behavior management with a toddler. A self-aware and self-accepting parent is a confident parent. Whatever aspect of caring for your toddler comes easy to you–build on that talent or those skill sets even more. Building strengths is the best way to increase your confidence.
Taking time to feel better about you will make interactions with your child much more meaningful and productive. The techniques we mention are meant to make managing behavior and emotional growth successful in the long term. We want everyone to raise well-adjusted and healthy children.
