Toddler Mealtime Routines
Customize your mealtime to fit your family’s lifestyle and the space you have to eat together. Keep in mind that toddlers need 3 meals per day and 2 to 3 snacks. This means a meal or sizeable healthy snack (mini-meal) every 2 to 3 hours, which could look something like this:
The schedule above is just an example of how you might fit in all the meals and snacks needed in a single day. Some toddlers are in bed by 7:00 pm, and their family may have dinner at 6:00 pm, which means the evening snack might be unnecessary. If breakfast occurs at 9:00 am, you can skip the morning snack. Often snacks are an opportunity to make up for a meal where your toddler might not have eaten enough. If you plan to be away from home with your toddler, bringing snacks along (for safe eating outside of the car) can save you in a pinch.
The other important principle with a schedule is that it’s best to stick to it once you have planned your mealtime. So what do you do when your child has not eaten any of their lunch and 20 minutes later wants some cheese and crackers? Well, that’s a tough one, but we would like you to be able to say, “I heard you’re hungry and that you’d like some cheese and crackers. Lunchtime is over, but you can have some cheese and crackers when we have our snack, which will be in two hours.” Although this might be hard, if you stick to your guns, you avoid the all too common issue with having your toddler grazing all day. Grazing can prevent a toddler from being able to listen to hunger and full cues and not eating well at any mealtimes.
Additionally, your toddler won’t make an effort to eat the meal you prepared during mealtime because they’ll start to assume that you will offer food anytime they ask. This is also true for toddlers who reject the planned meal and are offered an alternative (otherwise known as short-order cooking). If you aren’t careful, mealtimes will become anytime, and you may become a short-order cook.
Now that you’ve considered your daily meal and snack schedule, we have some additional guidelines to help you identify goals for your family mealtime routine:
Embrace the mess. Additionally, prepare for a mess. Toddlers often learn about new foods by touching then tasting, which can lead to messy exploration. But because mealtimes are exploration for toddlers–meaning they are learning a great deal–relaxing about a mess whenever possible will do wonders for your toddler's growth and development. Motor skills are still very much a work in progress at this age and this may also contribute to a mess on and around the high chair. To prepare, set up a mat beneath the high chair. Do the same preparation for a toddler in a booster seat at the table. Use a large bib (some even have a “catch-all” pouch at the bottom) or remove any clothing that might be ruined by the meal.
Cleaning up. Allow children to help with clean-up but do so in a positive manner, so the toddler does feel bad about creating the mess. Avoid scrubbing your child’s hand or face. Offer a rag and bowl of warm water with gentle soap for self-washing or ask if you may gently wipe their face with a clean paper towel.
Expectations. Toddlers have limited patience for sitting during a family meal. This is true for most young children through early elementary age.
While every child is different, here are some general guidelines for how long they can sit at the table:
The main principle is that children cannot sit for long. Do not have them seated until the meal is at the table. When they are done eating, it’s reasonable that they be excused. Some ways to keep them engaged is good conversation, but there should be enough modeling of eating for your child to watch and some silence to have each member of the family focus on eating.
When they are excused from the table, you may want to have a place set up for your toddler to color or play, etc. Do not choice an activity for them to engage in that is highly coveted, like TV or the iPad, or else you might not get them to stay at the table for longer than a “hot” second.
